There is an important distinction between promoting a culture that doesn’t make people afraid of making and admitting mistakes, and having a culture that says failure is great.

Per my usual, I found myself contradicting or at least (hopefully) playfully disagreeing with the other persons when it comes to making a judgement. I’m really not the right type of person for most of these judgemental area of society. I am just a grenade waiting to explode in any arguments of Being Judge  (but I still yet invited sometimes, n Hope not so long)

I can’t help myself, especially when if I believe that the so-called advice given was unusually bad or “typical.”

When anyone asked me to give the public reviews of what is failures. I could think of about 1,000. Where do I start? Thankfully I went last. but  The for others to answer with started sharing your typically fluff, telling the Public that “failure was great” and that “you have to be open to it” and that you should “fail fast” and “often” and such things. They recited stories which felt like Gandhiji or anna hazare giving speech to make a dharana(strike) in front of Indian Govt.

I think I visibly cringed. As one who’s experienced significant failure, personally and especially professionally, it made me instantly doubt the credibility of these “successful” people to my left and right. Did they really understand what failure was all about? Did they really experience it, truly?

Failure is a terrible thing. It hurts. It really, really hurts. There is nothing “glamorous” about failure. There is nothing “brilliant” about being fired (multiple times too).

benfits-of-failure

There is nothing “amazing” about investing years of your life in a startup and then finding yourself near fucking off life where it sucks harder n harder with family to support.

There’s nothing “awesome” about trusting business partners (or even family) to only have them rip your heart and soul out of your chest as they transform from friend to supposed enemy.

There’s nothing “sexy” about having to see psychotherapists and psychiatrists continually so that you can get back on your mental and emotional feet.

But the high-tech world seems to celebrate it all:

In Silicon Valley there’s a lot of talk about failure — there’s almost a celebration of failure. People recite mantras about “failing fast,” and successful people are always ready to tell you what they learned from their failures, claiming they wouldn’t be where they are today without their previous spectacular mess-ups. To me, someone who has experienced the disappointment that comes with failure, the whole notion is a little odd.

The truth is that failure is a terrible thing. Not being able to pay your bills is a terrible thing. Letting people go and disappointing them and their families is a terrible thing. Not delivering on your promises to customers who believed in you is a terrible thing. Sure, you learn from these ordeals, but there is nothing positive about the failure that led you here.I don’t actually subscribe to that type of thinking. You see, failure hurts. It really hurts. It really fucking hurts. I think I’m not entirely sure we’d be as effective or not at same situation on success and failure.

At least I knew that I would say what I had to say with a bit of compunction at the end of it.

I feel like the successful have forgotten about the fear.  That’s the detriment of the next generation who are trying to learn, for themselves, to find the fear required to do great things.

Without fear there can be no courage. “Go with both eyes open” is what I said.

Failure is failure. It sucks, but, that’s okay. The goal isn’t to avoid it but to encounter it as it really is. We’ll learn (and we’ll teach others to learn) more that way.

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